Modesty: More Than What We Wear

There are a lot of people..and a lot of blogs that talk about Christian women and what we should and shouldn’t wear when it comes to dressing modestly. It is a very controversial topic. You have people saying that we still don’t need to be showing our ankles, and then you have other people who say that “modesty is outdated,” or “times have changed.”


But I really don’t want to get into the discussion of whether wearing a bikini or mini skirt is appropriate or not. Because the fact of the matter is that there is a bigger picture here that I think people are forgetting. While yes, the times, culture, and clothes have changed, the Word of our Lord has never changed.


Modesty is more than what we wear- it defines who we are.


Let’s be real. Every girl knows when she is purposefully dressing to attract attention from men. Any woman who says she doesn’t realize it, is lying. Of course there are always going to be those times when some guy whistles at you when you’re wearing sweats and not trying to impress anyone at all. That’s just the nature of sin. But I’m talking about when you purposefully set out in your heart to dress in a way that attracts lustful attention. I will be the first to ashamedly say that I have done it myself. I have had to examine my real intentions behind what I was wearing, and not lie to myself and say that it was fine. I have to be honest, look at my wandering heart, and tell myself, no. I have had to realize that modesty is not about what I am wearing, it’s about my heart.


I hear so many girls talk about how it’s not their fault if guys are creepy, and that they should have the freedom to wear what they want. But the thing is-it doesn’t matter who’s “fault it is” when we all stand at the day of judgment. Every person will be held accountable for their own sin. The woman for her immodest heart, and the man for his.



2 Corinthians 6:3-13 tells us- “We put no obstacle in anyone’s way, so that no fault may be found with our ministry, but as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger; by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, the Holy Spirit, genuine love; by truthful speech, and the power of God; with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left.” As a woman going into ministry, I want it to be said of me that I did not put obstacles in people’s way by what I said, or did, or my clothing. We must all strive to live lives that people cannot find fault in. We must try everyday to look in the mirror and see Christ Jesus.


Romans 3:14 says, “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.” If our heart is truly in sync with the Father’s, then we will know when we are wearing something that we shouldn’t be. There will be a check in our Spirit that tells us that what we are doing isn’t right. We should not be trying to gain attention from men and gratify our sinful desires.  But we should be seeking to put on the Lord Jesus as the clothing of our hearts and mind, to leave no room for sinful desires to creep in.


In this day and age- Christian women cannot afford to be careless when it comes to decisions on what we wear. We need to be intentionally looking out for our brothers in Christ, given the world we live in. We should make the choice NOT wear something that would cause them to stumble, rather than passively wearing whatever “looks cute” and not thinking about the spiritual repercussions of our actions. Because we WILL be held responsible for being careless with the body that God has given us.


One of my favorite verses is Proverbs 11:22 which states, “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without discretion.” As this verses clearly states, as women we MUST have discretion. But especially when it comes to our bodies and what we wear.


1 Corinthians 6:19-20 states,” Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” This commandment to honor God with our bodies is not implying a passive action. It is a choice. We are called to not be a stumbling block.


Matthew 5:27-28 says, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”


As women of God, I want us to really think about this verse for a moment. Better yet. Go back and read it a second time.


Why in the world do we take modesty so very lightly? As I said before, every man and woman will be held responsible for their own sin. In no way am I trying to say that every time a man looks at you lustfully that it’s your fault. The man will have to take responsibility for that as well. But how sad is it to think that when we don’t use discretion and we carelessly dress immodestly, or even worse, when we intentionally dress immodestly, that we could potentially cause a fellow brother to stumble into lustful sin? I know, I’s not our problem, it’s the guys deal..right? Wrong. It is our problem because as Christians, we are called to higher standards.


We must, with the Lord as our guide, help the men of this generation to seek after Him above all else. 

We must be enablers (and not stumbling blocks) towards advancing the kingdom of God! 

We are all in this together. Male and female alike. We have to be. As one body of Christ in the battle against Satan. 


I believe that is about all I needed to say. Just some thoughts that have been rolling around in my head the past few days. I hope that something I have said will come as a challenge for you, and that you can somehow apply these Biblical truths into your everyday life.


God bless, and have a wonderful 2014!

Abbey Nicole








Purity: What It Is, and How to Obtain It

I’ve given this speech at various locations and events and felt like sharing on here. Enjoy ❤

How many Evangelical young adults have had sex before marriage? The answer is- Almost everyone.

According to an analysis of a study on sexual activity by Tyler Charles, “As many as 80 percent of unmarried evangelical young adults have had sex” Of those 80 percent of Christians who said they have had sex before marriage, 64 percent have done so within the last year and 42 percent are in a current sexual relationship” 
It is because of statistics like this that I have decided to write about what the Bible has to say about purity, what purity is, and how to obtain it. 
I have done several studies on this topic over the years and felt like sharing some of the things I have learned. 
I’m gonna talk about 4 of the 6 definitions of purity given in Webster’s 1828 dictionary. The common thing in all of these is that they have biblical principles that are applicable even in today’s culture. 
But before I tell you what the definitions are, there is something you have to know about purity. In order to have purity you must be willing to give up what your flesh and sinful nature wants and be ready to make a commitment to God’s standard.  Because we are Christians, we don’t have to be controlled by our sinful nature or flesh. We are controlled by the spirit of God living in us, which will overcome our flesh. Because we overcome our flesh, we are able to commit to God’s standard. 
With this in mind, let’s take a look at the 4 definitions of purity.
The first one is 

Freedom from foreign admixture or heterogeneous matter 

This definition implies that the way to achieve and maintain purity is to separate yourself from foreign or outside influences. The fact of the matter is that-
 we become like those we spend time with. 
 If you are a Christian you are set apart or sanctified for God and His purpose. In the Old Testament of the Bible, God told the Jews not to intermingle with those who were of pagan religions. The purpose in that was that He wanted his people to remain pure and not be overcome by the false teachings of others. 
In the New Testament, we see this verse-
2 Corinthians 6:14 (New Living Translation)
  Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?
Looking back at the definition; the heterogeneous or different matters that are conflicting are- light and darkness. As children of God- we are the light of the world. Those who do not love God are living in darkness. Therefore the two will never mix.
While God does call us to be witnesses for Him, we should never compromise in our intimate friendships and relationships. He has called us to be holy as He is holy. If we can filter out the influence of our friends and environment, then our spiritual conflicts will drastically decrease.
We should walk confidently in knowing that we can be in the world and not of the world.
Having a standard for holiness not only applies friendships but it also applies to the movies we watch, in the magazines that we read, and the music that we listen to.
Which brings us to our second definition of purity-

       Cleanness; freedom from foulness or dirt. 

We need to understand that temptation always starts in our minds. We live in a very media driven society. We let garbage fill our minds through the books, video games, internet and television. And we don’t give any regard to what is being imprinted into our brains. We will watch and listen to almost anything regardless of how perverted it is without changing channels or getting up and leaving.  
In Psalm 101:3 David says “I will set before my eyes no vile thing. The deeds of faithless men I hate; they will not cling to me.”
David is consciously making a decision not to look upon things that are not pure or gratifying. The key to being clean from the foulness of the media, is that you have a fixed set of guidelines in your mind before you are presented with the opportunity to sin. Before you go on the internet, before you meet your friends to go see a movie, before you play video games, know what your holy standard is and do not compromise.
The third description of purity is one that many young adults struggle with and find themselves compromising on. It is-

       Chastity; freedom from contamination by illicit sexual connection. 

This area of purity is critical for us to understand because of the sexuality of our culture. It is impossible to escape. Kay Arthur in her book Return to the Garden says the following about chastity, “Too many people today consider virginity as outdated. People are looking for love in all the wrong places, and sex is viewed as the door to love. In reality, according to the Bible, love and marriage open the door to sex.” 
The Bible never pictures sex as sinful, distasteful, or dirty. 
Here is an analogy- Fire has been a great benefit to mankind, however when it is out of control or used improperly, it can bring death and havoc. This is the same in regard to sex. It can be a great blessing within the confines of marriage, but can ruin lives when it is impulsively or prematurely used. 
Unfortunately, because of our age and maturity level, most college student’s relationships are body to body, concentrating on fulfilling our lusts. Biblically, this is not a relationship- this is adultery. 
Do we as young adults even know what a relationship is? The truth of the matter is that- a relationship is person to person. It encompasses the whole being of the person- intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and psychologically.  
One person put it this way and said- “You are ready to be in a relationship when you are willing to take responsibility for the other person’s soul.” 
Before we enter into a relationship, we need to make sure that we are in God’s will and that we know exactly what He expects of us in other areas of our lives and that we live them out. 
Here’s what we have to do in order to maintain sexual purity- we must deny ourselves fleshly pleasures and avoid sexual temptations. 
The reason we are to reject these pleasures, is explained by Paul in 
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. 
God commands us to run from these areas that we are tempted in. You know your own weaknesses. Be HONEST with yourself. Determine in your heart not to let your standard be compromised. 
This brings me to the last definition of purity which is described as     

  Innocence: as purity of heart or life. Freedom from guilt or the defilement of sin.

The first half of this definition discusses purity of heart or life
In order to have a pure heart we must seek and chase after faith love and peace. We need to eliminate passivity and laziness in our lives.
When we are being attacked by lustful thoughts, we should raise up our hearts to God in prayer and ask Him to remove those desires from our minds. In Ephesians 4:22-24 the Bible says,”throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God–truly righteous and holy.” 
This verse is clearly telling us that we need to refocus our lives and replace our old behavior with the new behavior. When we turn away from our old ways we need to turn towards the Lord. 
The second half of this definition of purity talks about having freedom from guilt or defilement of sin. 
Psalm 32:5 Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the LORD.” And He forgave me! All my guilt is gone.
In closing I would like to say this; All 4 of these definitions of purity talk about the freedom that we can have from our impurity. We can find that freedom in Christ. 
 He is waiting to forgive, cleanse, and restore us. Even if we set godly standards for ourselves, because we are human we’re going to fall short. But we should not be defeated. We can’t allow ourselves to think that it’s impossible to live a pure life. We are not in this alone. 
Of course it’s going to be impossible if we try to do this in our own strength! 
But 1 Corinthians 10:13 says this- “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you can endure.”